It is common for pretty much all of us to have a small part of our day dedicated to ourselves alone. This is the time of the day when you wish to be all by ourselves to either nap or indulge in activities which we prefer to do alone. In all honestly enjoying your own company from time to time is a sign of a healthy brain. Similarly, there are examples of activities when we wish to have some company with us. For example, while you may go out for dinner by yourself, you’d prefer to have a friend or a romantic partner with you when going out for dinner. Suppose that your favorite movie is out and you want to watch it in the cinema. Would you like to go watch it alone, or would you rather prefer to have a friend with you?
Having a preference, or even craving to be with someone when you are trying something new, is normal for all of us. However, the hardship of some people is to feel this discomfort of being alone almost at all times. It is no longer an occasional feeling for them but a fear that constantly obliterates their quality of life. This condition is commonly referred to as Autophobia or Monophobia. Simply put, it is the fear of being alone even at a comfortable, known place such as that of one’s own house.
Catching Autophobia in its early stage is important since it prevents it from turning into a sense of abandonment. If you or someone that you love have experienced an episode of Monophobia, then we are glad that you landed on this page. We have made a thorough research to craft this step by step guide to overcoming your fear of being alone. Without further ado, let’s take a closer look at the tips to effectively fight Autophobia.
1. Desensitization Is The Key
There is no argument over the fact that desensitization is a technique that has been used for years by the mental health professionals in an attempt to cure Phobias. A simple Google search will enlighten you of its potential benefits and how effective it is in preventing you from being a salve of your phobia. Desensitization simply means to expose yourself slowly to something that you are afraid of. Remember the time when your best friend was afraid of a cat and you told her to just hold one for a minute to remove her fear? Knowingly or unknowingly, that was when you asked her to desensitize her brain to the fear of cats.
If you are afraid of heights, looking down from your apartment once or twice a day is effective in removing the fear with time. If you are afraid of water, a common recommendation would be to join the swimming classes. The exact same principle is applicable to the fear of being alone as well. Don’t be overexcited and lock yourself in your house for days, but it can help a great deal if you decide on a particular time, say, one hour every day, when you’d make an effort into being alone and face the challenge. Remember, the process is supposed to be slow for it to be effective. This is why you should always start with your own house since it is the place that is the most known and comfortable for you. So, an hour every day. It’s all that is required to desensitize your brain and eventually remove the fear of being alone completely over time. It’s really a matter of imagination. You have it cooked inside your head that being alone would harm you in some way. Once you slowly start to prove that it is perfectly safe to be alone, your mind is prepared for the bigger challenge.
2. Don’t Let Your Mind Wander
Fear is a negative emotion. It can be useful when applied to the right scenarios since it keeps us on the lookout for possible threats. But a permanence of any emotion can make you suffer and fear is no different in this regard. What’s interesting is that your mindis not as good as multitasking as you would like to think. It is quite convenient to keep your mind occupied with other activities and thoughts that it forgets about the Phobia in the first place. Recall that time when you were afraid of taking off in an airplane as a child and your father used to start a random conversation with you just as the airplane started on the runway. It was the exact same idea behind his strategy. He wanted to preoccupy your mind with a conversation that it won’t have time to focus on the Phobia.
Much in the same way, indulging yourself in an interesting activity in times of being alone has the potential to make it easier for you to fight your Phobia. You can choose to listen to music, read an engaging book, watch your favorite TV show, it could be anything at all. In particular, however, meditation and mindfulness can prove to be highly effective. There are various reasons why such practices are more effective than any other. First of all, meditation is associated with bringing peace and calmness to your mind. It is obvious that there is no room for an emotion like fear in a mind where peace is inhabiting. Secondly, the whole concept of mindfulness is based on collecting your entire focus and pouring it into a positive event that is happening in the present moment. With mindful listening, for example, since your entire focus is in the present on an event like a soothing symphony or the chirping birds, there is no room for your mind to wander around in the unnecessary emotions like fear.
Being engaged in meditation and mindfulness in the moments of being alone doesn’t only help you fight your Phobia but is also effective in sharpening your focus, improving your memory, and activating the natural relaxation response of your body to reduce high levels of stress and anxiety.
3. Find Out Where Is It All Coming From
It is to be kept in mind that more often than not, our emotions are being fueled by our experiences. It is possible that your fear of being of alone is stemmed from the abandonment issues that you faced as a child or perhaps in one of your past relationships. This is why it is important to focus on where is this fear coming from? Once you know the root cause of it, you are in a much better position to make the amendments. For instance, if you find out that the cause of your Monophobia could be your abandonment as a child, you can then sit yourself and recollect the moments when you were not abandoned by your loved ones. If it was your last relationship that triggered the fear, you can remind yourself how people are different and just because your last relationship was cursed, doesn’t mean that everyone that you will find will do the same to you. Most importantly, once you know the reason why you are afraid, you can create an action plan to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Make a list of everything that you have to offer to see for yourself how valuable you are. Strengthening your self-confidence and boosting your self-esteem is highly effective both for the fear of being alone and to address the challenge of abandonment. Remember that the abandonment issues don’t always manifest with a fear that your loved ones will leave you alone, but it can also manifest with a fear of being alone in any given environment in general.
You are strong, so is your mind. You are not helpless before your fear of being alone. Once you choose to be committed to winning this war, there is hardly anything that can stop you from overcoming your Autophobia. You are even better equipped to guard yourself against its effect on your personal and professional life if you dig deeper, find its root cause, and eliminate it at the source. It is important to make an effort into learning to be alone. It doesn’t only enable you to face your fear but helps a great deal in widening your social circle and having deep, meaningful relationships with people around you. It is because you are no longer dependent on their company. You are not a burden for them and your comfort or happiness, in general, is not disturbed by their absence.
As mentioned earlier, the sooner that you recognize Monophobia, the sooner you can overcome this challenge. If you have had an episode of it recently, now is your time to remedy it. Our job was to tell you what you needed to know for removing the fear of being alone, implementing and practicing these strategies every day is entirely your call. Are you ready to say goodbye to the fear of being alone, once and for all?