“Perfect” is a word that sounds entirely positive and so the trait of perfectionism is usually considered to be a quality worth having. It is not a rare sight for someone to be overly proud of calling himself a perfectionist. But what if we told you that perfectionism isn’t all about glamor and glitter. It is in fact, one of the traits that can have an obstructive impact on your mental health in the long run. As per psychology, perfectionism has the potential to create a barricade between you and your happiness.
The problem with perfectionism is that it associates your happiness and defines success in terms of achieving unrealistically high goals. Since more often than not, such targets are unlikely to be met, your journey to becoming a perfectionist is marked with stress, anxiety, depression, and a lack of happiness and joy in your life.
Aren’t we being told from the days of our early childhood that nothing is ever perfect? Be it a person or a thing, it is impossible for it to be without flaws. Therefore, it won’t be wrong to state that the whole concept of perfectionism is frequently premised on an illusion. Once you start to pursue an illusion and refute your right to be happy with the imperfections of life, you put yourself on a road to unnecessary disappointments.
Your life isn’t liable for meeting your expectations. Be it in the domain of your professional life or the personal one, there are always going to be a few surprises. The very essence of being happy is to have the power to be satisfied with how things turn out to be in your life, rather than how you expected them to be in your ideal world that you created in your mind. Once you let go of these expectations, you start to see the beauty in the imperfections that essentially derive your happiness.
In order to give you a better understanding and stop you from pursuing an illusion, we have accentuated the top 8 ways in which your happiness is being silently killed by your desire of perfectionism.
Obsessive Perfectionism Is A Highway To A Constant State Of Regret
It is no longer just a conjecture but actually has been proven with psychological research that someone who has a tendency to entitle himself only with the best is more likely to visit remorse than the rest of the people. Such a mindset is commonly referred to as the “Maximizing mindset” in the world of psychology. It simply pushes a person to have an insatiable desire to choose the impeccable option for each and every single decision of his life.
Unfortunately, this is not possible since the concept of perfectionism is what fuels the post-event overthinking and over-analysis. This has an implication that regardless of what decision do you make and how flawless do you consider it to be in the present moment, once the event has occurred, you are going to reflect upon it for the days to come unless you start to second guess it in the first place. The overthinking and over-analysis of your options make you wonder if a different decision could have had an even better outcome. It’s like when you take a picture and think of it as perfect in the beginning but then you continue to focus on it unless you start to see the flaws and end up thinking that it’s not even worth posting on the social networks.
In simpler words, with overthinking, a desire to be perfect will rob you of your right to be happy regardless of what choices you make in your life.
It’s A Catastrophe For Your Relationships
Relationships are hard. In an ideal world, you may be able to find a soul mate with whom things just happen to flow naturally. It’s surely fascinating to read it in a book or watch it in a movie how two people could be made for each other, how they could complete each other, and how they would just fit. But in the real world, relationships are a lot of work. It takes effort and patience to make it work.
It is important to realize that you are in a relationship with a human being who is prone to committing mistakes and failing to meet your unrealistic expectations. The moment you start to expect perfection from your partner is the moment that you are putting your relationship up for destruction. Once you shun the idea of perfectionism and focus on how far you have come with your partner and how well you two continue to grow together and support each other through the hardest of times, you prepare yourself better for the ups and downs of your personal relationships.
If you continue to chase perfectionism in relationships, it is impossible for you to be content with any partner and you will always be looking forward to moving on and finding your soul mate that you have created in your mind. The moment they commit a mistake, you will be triggered to think that they are not the perfect one for you and you should continue to look for other options. The truth, however, is that